I'm bullish on my mental healthy therapy
I had my second counseling session with my therapist in person and it felt good. I want to feel like the things on my list of tasks are achievable instead of feeling dread and overwhelm. This is the outcome I want most from therapy.
Things are going well with my new therapist. Wednesday, I had my second counseling session, and the Athens office is a lot more comfortable than the Huntsville office. The VA can pay them without issues. I even found out that the VA roll my referral to allow me to have one therapy session per week. That little detail is only significant because I’ve scheduled therapy sessions with my new therapist every two weeks.
I got to say it feels good seeing my therapist in person. I never liked the virtual meetings. Not for a mental health therapy. The screens, the app widgets and buttons, the lights on the screens, the dependency on a uninterrupted Internet signal — all of those things were just distractions. I can’t explain how strongly my obsession is with electronics performing exactly as they’re meant to do. Suffice it to say that anything that went wrong I’m doing a virtual session just triggers my frustration and reminds me of how much I hate having to do this virtual thing. Of course, I get it that we had to do what we had to do because of COVID blah blah blah. I’m just saying I still didn’t like it, and I appreciate that period is over. Virtual counseling doesn’t feel personal enough.
My therapist and I began mapping out a goal or target for what I want to achieve with therapy. I won’t go into the long version, but I will say the biggest area I need help with is deep prioritizing everything I have to do and consistently feeling overwhelmed. In short, everything I have to do feels like it’s high priority, so most times the thing that’s right in front of me is the thing that gets done and other high priority things get pushed to another day. I personally think that the main source of my anxiety and subsequently my depression.
Depression is me feeling like shit because I’m not getting things done that need to get done. I don’t do the things that need to get done because I feel overwhelmed, then I shut down.
However, I’m optimistic and hopeful that I have an unbiased person who can guide me in mentally processing my goals and tasks. An outcome I want from physical therapy is to think about my tasks and feel like they are achievable. I need that to be the way that I think about all the things I have to do because right now, I just feel anxious.